No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
