Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
