We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
