try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
