I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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