just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
