problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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