Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
