I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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