Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
