yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
