You're my little dorito
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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