i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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