So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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