Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
