I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
