I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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