Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
