You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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