Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
