youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
