true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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