Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize