That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
