But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
