peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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