I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
