there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
