Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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