Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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