It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
