im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
