I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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