is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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