i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dignity is for republicans.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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