Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
