I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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