I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
In America we eat man semen.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
