I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
