they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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