I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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