I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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