i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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