So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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