are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
