apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
