I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize