Yo dont text me then not text me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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