Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
