Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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