im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
