I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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