? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have aggressive nipples.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
