I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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