Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
