your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
