he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
