it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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