eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
