try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
