The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
